What I learnt from Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within - Part I
4 days, 12,000 people, 15 hours days, and one of the best motivational speakers/coaches around today. This is Tony Robbins, Unleash the Power Within.
Four days that was nothing like anything I had experienced before. A transformational personal development seminar, a motivational boost like no other, and a huge rave with loud music and dancing! I doubt anyone could immerse themselves in this experience and not take something significant from it. Everyone goes to UPW with their own goals and areas they want to focus on. Some might have experienced a major setback in their life and want to find the strength to move forward, others are suffering with relationships and need a new strategy, and some want to achieve the next level of professional success. I went into UPW with a focus on how this could help me in business. I ended up taking a lot more from it.
As a speaker, Tony Robbins is incredible and can tell a story and influence better than anyone I have seen. As a trainer, I learnt a lot about how he is able to hold the attention of the crowd for 15 hours without any real break. His ability to talk constantly without water and the energy he brings to the stage consistently made me feel pathetic at being tired after an eight-hour training day! (Not to mention he is in his mid-50s and I am mid-30s!) I will write later about the exercise and food regimes he follows to maintain this energy. For now, I want to focus on what I took from UPW regarding personal growth and business success. (Note - this is not a summary of everything covered at UPW or meant to be a complete representation of his models - it is simply the points that I found most interesting/useful)
The Concept of Massive Action
As a coach, the concept of “taking action” is engrained into us. In each coaching session, the coachee must leave with actions. What Tony says is that to achieve the success you need to take MASSIVE ACTION. Before you can do this, you need to have a laser focus on what you want and focus fully on that. I like the concept of massive action as I think people often make half-hearted attempts at something and when it doesn't work conclude that it was a bad idea or that they went about it the wrong way.
Fear gets in the way of us taking massive action, we think things like, what if I commit all my resources to it and it does not work? What if I look stupid? What if I miss another opportunity? The difference with successful people is that they know what they want, and they are prepared to commit everything to make it happen. These people do not fail because they do not give up. Tony uses lots of examples such as Colonel Sanders who got rejected by over 1000 restaurants and Walt Disney who got rejected by hundreds of banks before they finally got their yes. Massive action means you commit 100% and put in the hard work required to make it happen.
I think I liked this principle so much because sometimes when people initially look at some of Tony Robbins’ philosophies they can start to think it is a little bit 'new-age', the power lies in your mind and think it and it will happen (and yes, my next point is about visualisation), the mind and your thoughts do play a critical role but Tony's key message to me, is get up off your butt and take the action required. If you do not do that you won't get anywhere.
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Visualisation leads to Results
There are many examples of how visualisation leads to greater results - this has been studied a lot in sports. This is something I have intuitively known but not practiced. At UPW Tony does a lot of visualisation exercises. The principle is that when you achieve something in your mind first it is easier for you to perform that way in real life. This type of visualisation is a mental rehearsal of what will happen in a situation. For example, if you are dreading giving a presentation you would spend time imagining how that presentation would play out - successfully in your mind. You would see yourself giving a clear and confident delivery, you would hear the laughter of the audience as they listened intently to what you are saying, and you would feel the achievement of delivering an outstanding presentation. This visualisation sets you up for success in a specific activity, your expectation of high performance has been set and you are more likely to meet that expectation.
The other type of visualisation Tony recommends is long-term visualization. This involves painting a vivid mental picture of what your life will be like in the future. You can think one, five, or ten years ahead. We did an exercise on this during UPW where we visualised the things we wanted in our lives and the emotions and positive benefits that would come when we had the life we wanted. I found this to be a powerful and inspirational exercise and it definitely gave me some motivation to go after the things I want with more vigour. Visualisation is something that Tony advocates doing daily as part of your morning routine.
Our Needs Control Us
According to Robbins, we all have six primal needs that drive our life choices. These are the six human needs:
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There are a few ways these needs are significant:
You will most likely have two of these needs that control you more than the others. These needs can result in behaviours that serve you in a positive or negative way. For example, your need for love might cause you to stay in a negative relationship because on some level it is meeting that need for love/connection. Most needs will have positive and negative expressions. For me, I thought that a need for certainty was driving a lot of my actions - in a positive way keeping me consistent in work ethic and actions, and in a negative way by keeping me stuck in old behaviours and not trying new things. Certainty brings comfort in the known, but that also prevents me from reaching outside of my comfort zone.
Problems can meet your needs. Robbins says that most people stay in a suffering state because it is meeting their needs. Problems meet short-term needs but de-rail you in the long term. According to Robbins, if something meets three of your needs you will become addicted to that thing. For example, consider a bad relationship - that person gives you a sense of connection, you are tied to that person, and they are tied to you. Even without real love, it can fulfill the need for connection. This person is also always there - they fulfill your need for consistency just by being there every day. This person can also fulfill your need for variety - they are exciting and unpredictable, and you never know what you will get from them. So, someone could be with an emotionally or physically abusive partner and Robbins would argue that you stay because the relationship, although damaging, still enables you to fulfill some of your core needs.
Needs supersede everything else, even values. Robbins argues that people will do whatever they can to have these needs met even if that means going against ingrained values that they have. I think this is an interesting point as I have wondered a lot what makes reasonable and ethical people do unethical things like taking bribes, lying, and cheating despite viewing themselves as 'good' people. I had always thought that people end up being a product of their environment. So, for example, if you work in a company that supports lying to customers by ignoring it or actively encouraging it, most people will step into line and live up to the expectations of their peers. (This is also something that Tony Robbins talks about in reference to peer groups). But this also adds another dimension to the cause of these questionable behaviours. If by lying or cheating I can fulfill the needs of Significance, Variety, and Connection this is likely to encourage me to continue these behaviours.
The last two needs are what leads to fulfilment. Growth and Contribution are what you should be seeking to achieve a more fulfilled life. Robbins talks about 'The Science of Achievement' and 'The Art of Fulfilment'. He argues that most successful people have figured out how to achieve in the traditional sense - personal and professional success and wealth - but lack achievement in fulfillment. They are stuck in a job that means little to them, they have a 'perfect' family but lack a real connection to that family and they fail to grow personally and give back to others. This is why people who seem to have it all are depressed. The growth and contribution need as the higher needs fit with what Maslow told us decades ago about human needs. Only when we have reached the highest level of his pyramid - self-actualization (achieving your full potential and giving back) will we be fulfilled. Maslow said that we need to fulfill the lower-level needs first before we can achieve self-actualization. Robbins does not talk about this in UPW, so it would be interesting to hear what he has to say about getting the other four needs in balance before you can attain Growth and Contribution. (Please comment below if you have any insight into this.)
Your Mind is Not You
In the book, The Chimp Paradox Dr. Steven Peters talks about your human brain and your chimp brain. Your chimp brain is the ancient part of your brain that seeks out short-term gratification, gets angry quickly, and acts unreasonably. Your human brain is the real you, it is reasonable and rational and kind to others. This is a terrific book that can help if you are struggling to manage your emotions. Tony puts a simple spin on the same concept. He simply asserts that your mind is not you! Your mind is millions of years old and is programmed to think in a certain way. He says that no thought your mind has had is original. It has been thought by someone else before, and therefore that thought does not belong to you. 'I am too fat‘, 'I might fail', 'I am worried I will be rejected', these are all common thoughts that have been around for millennia, you are just choosing to tune into that thought. Tony argues then that you need to find your own voice and override these predictable and frankly unhelpful thoughts. One of the affirmations that Tony makes the audience repeat repeatedly on day three is, 'I AM THE VOICE'. This means you are your real voice, not your mind (or in Peters language your chimp). He encourages you to find your true unlimited self and that whatever you think about yourself that is limiting, the opposite is actually true.
Values and Beliefs
In coaching training, we did a lot around values and beliefs, so I obviously know all there is to know, right? Er, wrong. The UPW training gave me a different perspective on values and beliefs and also helped me to uncover some new limiting beliefs. So, what was different?
Beliefs. Robbins splits beliefs into two main categories - generalisations and rules. Generalisations are global beliefs that we all have about people or the world. For example, Life isn't fair, People are mostly good/bad/evil and looking to rip you off at the first opportunity. Rules are things that we think are true about ourselves and usually start with If.. and then… For example, If I make more money then my husband will feel like less of a man. If I am too forceful at work, then my colleagues will not like me. These are assumptions that we have arrived at from our influences and conclusions about the world around us. Usually, these beliefs are not helpful. By holding onto them we create a self-fulfilling prophecy where we act in accordance with these beliefs, so the world gives us what we expect, and we conclude we are right. To change what the world gives you, you need to first change what you believe about the world.
Robbins describes values as emotional states that you think are most important to experience or avoid. This is slightly different from the definition of values I have worked with before; the difference is that values and emotions are usually classified as different things. Anyway, Tony says there are towards values (things you want in your life) and away from values (things you want to avoid) and that people will do more to avoid pain than attain pleasure. So, for example, success might be a 'towards value' and failure an 'away from value'. You are more likely to take actions that avoid failure than move you towards success. This is instinct, but Tony argues that the highly successful are more driven by their 'towards values' - they identify what they want and go after it in spite of their fears and doubts.
